Back on tinder the weekend after finishing things with the MD Ash perked me up after the "feelings" fiasco.
He was just what a love doctor would have ordered for a tinderella with a bruised ego and a achey <3. Such an aesthetically pleasing human IMO (in my opinion). If you like tattoos, muscle, dark hair a little face grizzle, a deep tan and a face that made other women stare then Ash was your guy. Normally he would of fallen into the write-off category for being what I deem "too pretty" Judge me all you like for stereotyping but men that hot almost always know it - and in my experience are very busy enjoying the perks of being able to have their pick of women. If I was a hot guy I am sure I would too. Its just that being chased into bed and then never called again isn't my idea of a good time. Men who look like Ash are often very enjoyable company nonetheless. But hardly ever long-term prospects and often best kept as friends. Without sex benefits!
At this point I just enjoyed the feeling of being pursued by someone I found so attractive and I let him take me out. I knew I wasnt DTF (down to fcuk) and I wasnt going to fall for someone that pretty so it seemed harmless. I actually wish I could put his photo in here just to give you guys a peak at how cute he was. Just picture a cross between Zac Efrons face and body with Terry from Love islands tattoos.
Ash was a chatter just like me and called almost as soon as I gave him my number. He started teasing me over the phone and trying to coax me out my PJs and get me to meet him for dinner. It was 7pm on a friday evening. And after being wound up and made to laugh I got dressed and jumped on the overground from Stratford to Walthamstow where he lived.
Half an hour later he met me at the train station, all white teeth and teasing comments (I love cheeky guys - so fun) and he walked me the short distance to his local Turkish restaurant. It was clear he was a frequent visitor. I didnt care - I was hungry. We shared our spicy dishes and flirted. Ash managed a building site near the house he owned round the corner by day and personal trained on the side. At 32 he looked like he had spent the last 14 years in the gym. And it was working well for him. He had also had more of one of his sleeves topped up with fresh Ink earlier in the day before we met and he wasn't shy about showing of his art work. The man oozed sex. Clearly he was used to getting it, but he wasn't overtly filthy. He just looked at me like I look at caramel magnums. i.e like i wanna wrap my mouth around them and swallow. So dinner was a lot of fun.
When I went to the ladies I had this weird little moment in the mirror. I remember feeling....guilty. Like I was cheating. Stupid. A waste of emotion, but I felt it acutely nonetheless. "Stop it you silly moo. Go flirt with that fit man" Tinkerbell said. So I did.
Ash paid for dinner and I was happy to let him. He suggested a drink back at his place. Hmmm "I should get going" I said. Late night drinks back at ridiculously sexy mens' house were a recipe for trouble and I wasnt ready to get close to anyone (physically or otherwise) just yet.
But as we stepped outside the cold made me need a wee. "Just come back to mine - I have a toilet and it's on the way to station" Ash coaxed me. "Okay but I cant miss the last train" I agreed. And he slipped his arm around my waist as we walked. His house was a typical bachelor pad: big screen TV, dark wood, leather, and a HUGE snake in a big glass tank in the corner of the living room. "That's enormous" I said going past the tank tentatively.
"Glad you like huge snakes" he joked. (HOW FUNNY ARE MEN?)
When I came out from the downstairs loo he was sat on his leather couch smiling at me. "I better get going" I said
"Stay" he instructed.
"I cant"
And he stood as I went to walk past, put his hands in my hair and kissed me.
Slowly at first. He was a good kisser. His hands slid down my back. round my waist and over my ass. and before I could even think I was kissing him back like someone had just broken my heart and I wanted a man to make me feel like I was wanted again. He pulled my legs up around his waist and held me against the wall. I was pulling at his back and grinding against him - there was no thought involved - just heat and as he kissed my neck I groaned out quietly "Oh, MD"
He stopped for the briefest second and chose to ignore the name I had just uttered that most definitely was not his.
His hands moved from under my ass further around to touch me and this time as his fingers brushed against me through my jeans I moaned louder this time "Oh- MD"
He held me up still and pulled his head back to look at me.
"Whos MD?"
"Uh. haha. um - no one. I should probably get going"
I tried to wriggle down and stand again but he held me firm with all those muscles, looked my in the eyes and said "I dont mind, as long as I can call you another name" He was smiling his cheeky smile and it wasnt a question. More of a joke. I think. But I kept wriggling until he put me down and I snatched my stuff and made swift exit. "Thanks for dinner" I called over my shoulder shrugging my coat on.
"Stay" He called after me.
And off I (almost) ran to the station. Back on the train I text all the girls. What the hell was wrong with me? calling other men the MDs name? Jaysus!!
Lessons learned
1) Whilst my mind was more than ready to be over a man who wasnt for me - my naughty little body was clearly still singing the MDs tune. Note to self - remember the name of a man if you are going to get frisky with him.
Ash still messages and asks to see me, but its only ever to "hang-out" round his. Whilst I am sure he would be a great lay I am not that desperate for dick. Well sometimes I want to dry hump men I see in public (especially recently as its been months now) but mentally I still know it doesn't do me any good. So I've not been back. He still likes my insta snaps now and again and I do it to his too - he always posts the most smouldering shots.
Well done ash - you were just what you said on the tin - sexy as fcuk.