It was late October and after UBF I was talking to a few people. As mentioned many posts ago sometimes this will happen. Say for instance you match with ten dudes on tinder. Six message you. Four say something that warrants a response (other than "lets fcuk" or "hi bbe") and sometimes you end up with four new whatsapps popping up...
So Billy was one of the four. Judge all you like most of them soon reveal something off-putting or fade away as they have gotten on better with one of the other girls they are chatting too. #ThatsTinderForYou. Billy seemed cool enough at the start. A middle management accountant from Essex working for one of the big firms in Liverpool Street. 28 like me and he was nice looking with just enough of a beard on the go that I was interested. I was actually going on a date with one of the others that Thursday but he cancelled half an hour before. #ThatsAlsoTinderForYou. Almost ready to go I quickly tried my luck with Billy and over in his Audi he drove to #TinderellaTowers.
I jumped in and he drove us the 200 feet to Westfield's carpark by mine. He took me for a bosco salad over in the food court and we swapped stories on work, London, holidays and he told me all about the house he was buying in Essex. And his ex. He definitely wasn't over her.
It's not that I am unsympathetic, far from it. Break-ups happen - everyone has a past, and by your late twenties people already have baggage. Some times a lot: ex wives, kids, ex-lives the whole package is not uncommon. I guess its just about how well they have dealt with it. Has a guy let a broken heart ruin him entirely? Or has he enough time and inner balls to accept what went wrong and decide to move forward and just try not to make the same mistakes.
It's not always this full-power though, a lot of people go on tinder after a break up and whilst they are mentally sound, they just want some of that casual-karen interaction and nothing serious. You gotta watch out for those ones, as sometimes they can be harder to spot.
Billy was 100% in the first category - Recent break up and he was still in the anger/looking for a girl to replace-the-hole-his-ex left stage. This became much clearer after dinner when he continued to bring her up. Again and again. "Oh Sara ate salads" "Sara and I were going to buy the house together" "Sara had blonde hair" etc.
"Oh really. How interesting, please continue"
Billy had paid for dinner and wouldnt let me dutch. I wasn't 100% decided on if I would see him again yet so I suggested going to the Cow in Stratford for drinks. And as we sat chatting he continued to let rip on "Sara" I listened for a bit, and offered some neutral chat about how sometimes it's best things end, as it frees you up to be happy. In the end I just kept trying to change the subject on "Sara" until it was socially acceptable to leave. He drove me the 200 yards back to mine and mentioned that he was out the next evening (Friday) with his mates (I was out the Saturday) and he asked if we could meet Sunday. "Sure" I said. I wasnt sure at all but I was in his car so I didnt really wanna shout "Absolutely fudging no thank you" or "Maybe see what Sara is at"
When he parked the car up outside mine I turned and started to say thank you for dinner and he launched himself at my face, biting my lower lip in his teeth as he "kissed" me. His hand went up to hold my cheek and actually slid down and briefly squeezed my boob. It all happened so fast...
I still had my mouth open from where I had been about to speak and when he let go of my lip I pulled back. "Uh, night Billy" I hopped out the car and scooted to the flat, not stopping to turn around.
He text within minutes of leaving "Thanks for a great date (tinders) Shame you ran off so quickly, hope you didn't mind me copping a little feel"
I didn't reply. He must of realised with how fast I had got out of there that he had been a bit to full on. But it didnt stop him texting again "Night gorgeous"
I left him on unread and went to sleep. In the morning he triple texted. I was sorting out some stuff for a new job so barely replying to anyone. Let alone boys, and hadn't had enough time to sit down and send the pre-saved text to stop things in there tracks. As the day wore on he continued to text. "Hey I was thinking I can come over to yours tonight after drinks with the guys"
This one I did reply to "Um Billy we have had one date and thats boyfriend level privileges - turning up drunk after a night out. NOT second date territory"
He send five texts back apologising and saying he didn't mean it like that. I didn't reply. One: I was still busy and two: he was p!ssing me off. I just remember thinking I will deal with this when I have time.
In the evening as I sat on whatsapp chatting to my mates he popped up again, "Hey what are you doing?"
"Just planning in my weekend" I replied
"Are you alone?" He asked
'Yeah, why?"
"I wanna play a game"
"What game?"
"What are you wearing"
"Why?"
"I wanna us to touch ourselves and send voice-notes" he said.
"Im a bit busy chatting to my mates right now, and thats a bit quick Billy, we still dont know each other" "Your mates are annoying" and just like that we got into a mini row. #NobodyDissesThePrincesses.
I quickly realised that this was a total waste of my time, and besides I don't argue. It's not my style. #YouCanKeepYourDramaSon
So I just text him "Look I don't think we are right for each other. Take care"
He sent a stream of stuff back. Apologising again and saying "he didn't mean it" and he "would behave" I just put him in the archive folder on whatsapp and continued with my life.
The texts continued to come through and I went to bed ignoring all of them
In the morning the last one said "I guess we are over then" he had blocked me as his photo had disappeared in whatsapp.
Lessons learned
1) Some people have major ex-issues or are just not very well emotionally adjusted in general. I mean how would a reasonable human think that if someone goes on a date with you then you can instantaneously grope them at the end of the night? Even if they are in your Audi. When goodnight kisses escalate of their own accord then it can be awesome. I love a little heat in the car when things have gone well, it reminds me of been a naughty little teen riding round with boyfriends before we all grew up and got houses to get busy in.
But Billy was just lost in his own recent-relationship trauma I reckon. I mean why else would he of been so odd? If someone ignores your messages they are either busy or not interested. Sending increasingly intense and horny texts does not build attraction. Not for this Tinderella anyway.
He was still on my instagram. Again I forgot this (when you are chatting to multiple guys and adding new people it's easier than you think to lose track of this kind of thing - especailly when people use nicknames as usernames) and so he was another one that came up liking a photo late one evening. #Blocked.