Tom 3

When you have been single a while your contact list soon fills up with randoms. And after a few months you meet people (or get chatting on tinder) who have the same name, aka Tom, Tom 2 and then here we were at Tom 3.

I went right for him even though I couldnt see his face in his pic, he had a hot body and I could tell from the photo he was surfing in Bali. This was enough for me. Surfers ALWAYS have the moves. As we slid into whatsapp (his pic on there was a head shot where he looked good) we got to all the chatting. He was a good texter. Not to clingy, and would send witty messages full of fun. We had a lot in common too, he had been to Ibiza the weekend before me, SW4 the day after I had gone with the princesses and was going back for his fourth trip to Bali a month after I was later in the year.

He worked as a site manager for an electrical company and was working on a project at The Gherkin. He lived somewhere South-West of london. Now, as this wasn't a stop on the tube map, to me he might as well have been from Cornwall. But we got on so well I thought why not meet him for a date, he will be fun if nothing else. He was one of the guys I had gotten fruity with in the texts too soon though. Have you ever had the hangover horn? It's rife in London for sure.

I wont go into to much detail, but my view is when you are hanging (living in London this will happen often - every night of the week someone is out and asking you if you wanna come play) you want things to comfort you. Food, cuddles and sex are comforting. Especially all at once. And for single people, you cant just roll over and start cracking on with your non-existent lovah, nutella at the ready. So you ended up getting drawn in to sexting who ever is flavour of the week at the time.

Tom was a solid sexter and after too much chatting we found a date to meet on a #ThirstyThursday in early September. He suggested dinner in a new Peruvian restaurant Cerviche, in Soho. If you like spice - check it out you wont be dissapointed - but the cocktails are lethal. LittleMissGin over here couldn't even swallow hers. (everything on the menu is made with this potent rum 70% proof stuff)

He met me in a pub near the restaurant and as I arrived squeezed in at the bar and went to order a drink. As I was waiting for my Hendrinks and slimline, texting Tom 3 what drink he wanted, I noticed a suspected homeless man sat on the stool beside me. He positioned his open legs in my direction and started trying it on. I felt trapped. Do I wait for the barman to finish? or run away from stanky pants? Luckily Tom 3 arrived and rescued me from my new boyf.

IRL he was nice looking like his pics. But I Instantly knew I didnt want to kiss him. Maybe it was the way he held himself. He seemed nervous. Whilst this brought out the mamma in me (I wanted to reassure him I absolutely would not be biting him later on) it also turned me off. Confidence is sooo attractive for this tinderella. Aside from sharing the same sense of humour its another thing in my eyes that can turns 6s into 8.5s.

Arrogance is a different thing entirely, and I know many women would go for a shy sweet guy over a baller. Personally I just respond better to someone who is comfortable with who they are, and being less than a shy retiring wall-flower myself, I prefer a man's-man who will (try) and put me in my place.

"Just give him a chance " I thought. So I did my best to make him feel comfy. He soon relaxed and we swapped stories on all the things we both loved doing. I just didnt rate him though. I mean he couldn't of been better behaved, and despite a big fight from moi, I wasn't allowed to dutch when the bill came. Walking back to the tube, he put his arm round me. I hadn't brought a coat as the day had been warm, but now the temperature had dropped. So I let the arm stay there but when the time came to part underground, I purposefully took a different line home to him (we could of shared part of the route)

I just didnt want to be squished next to him on the tube. He leant down for a kiss as we said goodbye, and I allowed the briefest of cheek pecks but he caught part of my lips. He had put his body against mine though, and I felt a distinct semi-on against my hip. As I turned and skipped to the waiting train he called after me, "Where's the rest of my kiss?"

I just waved and jumped on the tube.

He text before I had even got home. I replied with the pre-saved response:

"Thanks for a fun night, you were great I just dont think we are the right fit"

"Let me take you out again as friends"

hmmmm. This is a new one. How do I get out of it?

"Uh- sorry, just a bit busy. Take care"

Lessons learned

1) As mentioned: meet them asap, and keep it breezy pre-date. Or at least try not to take it too far in the texts if you have holidays and festivals in the middle of when you are next both around. I feel so awkward saying no to someone, even though it's happened to me enough. I just know its not pleasant when you have shown someone who you are, and they dont want you. #SingleLifeThoughHuh #TheyDontCallItAGameForNuthin

2) If someone doesn't want to take no for an answer, dont be too nice about it for too long. We have all been on the other end of it, and you gotta be big enough and ugly enough to take it on the chin and move on. Else you gotta get out game lil' Tinderella's.

He didn't give up though and after a few weeks I had to put him in the archive folder in whatsapp.