So February 14th . Regardless of your relationship status this made up celebration will make you think about it. Its impossible not too, and people tend to take a few approaches, there is the:
Anti Establishment stance: “Fcuk this – I’m not bloody falling for it” they cry – “Why should I spent any of my cash on this BS?” If in a couple, they will boycott the entire affair. No cheesy cards, no overpriced set-menu-for-two down the local Italian, and no cute teddy bears. They will roll their eyes and snort with distaste at all soppy posts on social media. Observe with disdain the deliveries of roses in the office. Tonight they will stay in and have sex, because they want to – but most certainly NOT because it’s V-day.
Then there is, The loved up couple/Romantics: “Oh wow!” they will think. A whole day dedicated to how much I love bae!!!
(Squeals and goes click-mad ordering treats online)
Cards, flowers, chocolates and teddies. Expensive and fancy presents will be purchased to surprise their loved one. Notes will be packed in lunch boxes or slipped into suit pockets. Teasing sexts will also spring up throughout the day hinting at all the shenanigans planned for later. And you can bet all the wine on special today that they will be in the window seat of the local Italian tonight, sipping bubbles from the overpriced set-menu. They will also be the ones invading social media with gushing pictures and
“OMG look what he got me <3” #FeelingLoved #Spoilt
Then there is, The Anxious Singleton: They will have pre-prepared their answers to the questions they know they will be asked all day today.
Colleague “Ohhh what are youuu doing tonight?? Asked with an expectant face.
“Shaving my fairy and drinking a bottle of wine Sharon” is what they want to respond. But instead they reply modestly:
“Oh you know me! nothing special, just the gym and then adding to my cat collection…” awkward fake “hah-hah’
Sharon will turn her nosy head on the side and coo insincerely
“Oh you will find someone one day! Brian is taking me to Ask and look at the roses he sent! Isn’t he the best?”
Yeah real fudging cute shazza. Well done on snatching that boring pervy supply-chain manager off the market. #Winning
Personally I like Valentines. Is it a total mug off created by a stationary company? Sure. But the idea of celebrating people you love is something I go hard for. Should we do this everyday anyway? 100%. Notes left on the steam in the mirror after a shower – those are free. Cute whatsapps of things you know someone will smile at? All over it. Full-body massages just because you wanna help him unwind = A given. Surprising him when he gets home by cooking something tasty in suspenders? Why wouldn’t you. And presents just because you saw something you know he would use.
I find it way too easy to be romantic when you rate someone.
But not everyone is a sucker for the slushy stuff. Life’s a busy little beast and I hear all the time about people who take their partners’ for granted. So having a specific day to remind you to treat the one you love, even with just some affection isn’t an awful thing. It can give couples, especially long term ones, a much-needed nudge to appreciate their lovah. But it can also put unnecessary pressure and expectation on things. If you are sat there waiting to be spoilt and then you aren’t, it can cause rows you didn’t need to have. It’s still only really a Tuesday after all, regardless of what the shops are saying. So don’t let it leave you feeling like something is wrong with your relationship. I mean it might be. But it wont have anything to do with valentines day.
My advice would just be to have sex. If you can't do that then you really should think about cutting it loose. Life is way too short to be miserable and sans shagging. You could be running free and wild and with out sex. At least you would be happy. Trust me on this one!
For single-pringles it can make you feel the lonelys. All across the UK inboxes are filling up with “happy valentines texts” sent because people are feeling that pressure. That tug that says, “hmmm… should I be with someone right now? Fudge. Quick send a text. Send it. SEND IT NOW!!!”
I’ve had the last four V-days riding solo. And I’ve been the anxious pringle in the past. Feeling uncomfortable about the impending questions on my non-existent plans with a bloke I didn’t have. Feeling the need to make a joke about the fact no one had ‘snapped me up yet I’ve also accepted dates with an undesirable just because the pressure told me to say “yes”. And I’ve gone home with bruised lips after fighting off an obvious wrong-en. So with all this practice I’ve learnt that I don’t need to justify anything. Waiting for a good one that you are actually attracted too, does not mean anything is wrong with you. Often people ask those invasive questions without meaning to intrude. And the ones that are intruding? well I can tell you from experience, aren’t always that happy in their own relationships. So don’t let the Sharon’s out there make you feel wobbly.
Today I will enjoy the treat I bought for myself (instead having to drop the cash on a bottle of Terre De Hermes and some saucy lingerie) just because I deserved to be spoilt. I will go out with a friend for drinks because we want too, not because we need to mark the day. I can't lie I am looking forward a little casual couple watching later though….
Tinderella's V- day messages so far
Mum : 1
The girls : 6
Boys
Texts - 1 (old school isn’t he)
Whatsapps - 5 (some of these included romantic requests to “hang” and one very blunt “wanna fcuk?” …..Um thanks so much but the answer's still no)
Videos 1 (he was in the gym working out. But the day is still young so it could get fruity yet}
Tinder messages- 6 (i cant even go into what these contained. I will lose my faith in the male race)
DMs on insta 2 (neither of them could spell properly)
Replies to boys.
One (And I shouldn’t of sent it)
You can see what I mean though. It does weird things to people. So whatever your relationship status today, my advice is just breathe it in and then let it go.
If you wanna spoil him do it, but don’t expect anything back. Be happy with a snuggle later and anything else is a bonus. If you are single then do whatever the fudge you enjoy doing tonight. Watch a fave film that your ex never liked. Eat something garlicky as it doesn’t matter, have a w***, or come out with me.
I’ll take your mind off it and hide your phone so you cant text people you shouldn’t. And again regardless of how loved up you are or aren’t: Try and stay off social media later. I defy you to make it through a feed without seeing something that will irritate you loved up or not.
I can say with absolute certainty that you have absolutely no need to compare your situation with whatever anyone else decides to post about there’s today.
Lots of love
Tinders'
x
